"...But You're too young for Breast Cancer." --My Terminal Journey

  Let's Talk Mental Health The first time I seen a mental health specialist of any kind was when I was just 15 years old . My daddy was just diagnosed with small cell lung cancer and was given 3-6 months to live. My parents already had their concerns for me for years. I spent most of my time in my room, by myself, listening to music and only coming out to eat. I was rebelling of course and was going through my "emo" phase. I went through so much black eyeliner it was ridiculous. I wore all black and long sleeve shirts to cover cuts on my arm my mother chalked up to just wanting attention. She no doubt was a good mother but came from a different time. She was all about tough love which effected me greatly my whole life. I was a depressed girl, dealing with so much and all I wanted was for her to hug me and tell me everything was going to be alright, I wanted that so many times growing up and even as an adult when she was still alive but instead I was met with "suck it

  The Before and After of Cancer One of the hardest parts of having cancer and going through all the trauma I have gone through in the past few decades is looking in the mirror at someone you just don't recognize anymore. It's different than finding a new wrinkle or grey hair. It's like looking at a complete stranger sometimes. One of my hobbies most of my life was makeup and hair. My mom would make fun of me because she said I couldn't even go to the gas station without being in full makeup and my hair done. I was confident and felt good about how I looked. Now I can't remember the last time I felt beautiful. I went from 130 at 5'7 to 180. I'm always afraid to run into someone I haven't seen since getting cancer because I'd be so embarrassed with how much my body has changed for the worse.  I now put on makeup on very rare occasions and don't really know how to properly dress this new body. Then you are forced into menopause at 29 years old and

  If your looking for a really good place to donate for metastatic breast cancer research and treatments I highly suggest   Metavivor.org Susan G Komen Also, my friends non profit that helps so much with so many different things, from babysitting for treatment to help on holidays. They are amazing and could always use donations  Chemo Nanny

  Donations and any kind of help is so appreciated. Thank you all for all your love and support Gofundme Cash app is $AmberSim91 https://linktr.ee/ambermariah1991 Feel free to add me on different socials. 😊❤️ Everything is in my LInktree https://linktr.ee/ambermariah1991

 Amber's Bucket List I refuse to die until I do all of these and more Anymore suggestions? 😜 1. Ride a horse one last time  2. See a concert 3. See a stand up comedy 4. See a real play 5. Go to the Detroit zoo at least one more time. 6. See the ocean again. 7. Jet ski 8. Make my mom's chicken and dumplings 9. Finish all scrapbooks, books and videos for the girls  10. Meet either Dave Chappelle, Eminem or Johnny Depp 😜😍😍 11. Visit Hawaii again. 13. Spread my parents ashes exactly where mine will go. 14. Get my nails professionally done. 15. Go to a dance club 16. Finish a good painting 17. Write a book, even if nobody publishes it. 18. Take professional pictures with my girls for the first time. ** 19. Learn how to sew or knit 20. Go ice skating during Christmas 21. Go to the roller rink ** 22. Go to benihana one more time  23. Have a real birthday party  24. Go camping as much as you can  25. Go to cedar point 26. Shoot a gun 27. Learn how to bake 28. Go skydiving 29. Hold

 What I've learned since being diagnosed with terminal cancer.  1. How much time I wasted. On bad relationships, bad friends, caring what everyone thought of me, worrying, being scared to do anything , On wishing days would go by just so I could sleep and not think for a while. On actually having suicidal thoughts in the past, and just thinking how stupid of a thought that was because here I am gladly taking poison every three weeks. Now I'd do anything to live to see 40. To see my kids become adults. I just want to live, I have so much more to do and see and experience. I spent so much time being miserable, self conscious and sometimes just plain stupid instead of living in the moment, getting out of my comfort zone and allowing myself to come out of my shell. So much time getting walked on because I wanted people to like me. I can't tell people no like I should and I needed to stick up for myself and I never did. All so stupid. We're not promised tomorrow, so all tha

My Story.       Let me introduce myself. My name is Amber. I am 31 years old. I'm from a small city in Michigan. I have two amazing daughters who are 8 and 10. I have been a single mom for quite a few years now. I lost both my parents by the age of 24. It's just been me and my girls ever since with the help of a couple close friends I cherish so much. At 29, my life changed forever.        I was standing at my bathroom sink after a fresh shower, leaning over to wrap my hair in a towel I glimpsed in the mirror and noticed a line on the side of my right breast. At first, it just looked like a new stretch mark and I was plenty use to those by then. I inspected it and knew this wasn't a stretch mark but wasn't too concerned. Not long after I noticed the lump in my breast had gotten bigger. I had a biopsy done on my left breast after I gave birth to my daughter and they said they were benign and just something a lot of girls my age have. So, I assumed this lump was just a fi