What I've learned so far..........

What I have learned so far ..

    

 I can say I have lived a great deal in the short time I have been on this Earth. I tell my story in hopes that it helps someone else. I hope it helps someone feel a little less alone at the very least, So I am not sorry I refuse to just shut up.......Sorry

    I have learned just how much of a privilege it is to grow old. So many people my age, older and younger, complain about turning 35 or 45 or regular aches and pains of growing older. I, for one use to be that person. I remember complaining about turning 25. I look back now and see I am one of the lucky ones to have made it to 33. I have lost countless friends and family and people I went to school with that never got the chance to experience as much life as I have. Being able to one day be 90 years old, makes you one lucky person. Enjoy the time you have now because it goes really fast, don't spend it complaining that you have wrinkles or a few grey hairs. 

    I've learned time doesn't stop for anyone. One day your eight years old listening to your new nsync CD in your bedroom and the next you're screaming at your kids to turn their tv down. Don't waste the time you do have on things that won't matter in 5 years. Don't waste your time with the guy or girl who doesn't treat you right, Don't allow people in your life to treat you badly, Don't waste your time not going to the beach or dancing with your friends because you think badly about yourself or have anxiety. You will always regret not dancing and not swimming. Always.

    The people you thought would be there for you through the hardest times of your life sometimes disappear and show their true colors. It hurts. The universe seems to send you exactly who you need at the exact right time you need them. Especially with cancer, its called cancer ghosting. That support system you thought you had, just disappears, for one reason or the other but its better to be alone than with people who truly do not care for you. Real friends celebrate you, are never envious, you don't have to have that feeling you were just being talked about when you re-enter a room and that feels so good. 

    You are so much stronger than you think you are. I have been told countless times how strong I am. I'm really not anymore stronger than anyone else. Either I deal the hand I was dealt or lay down and die. I didn't get a choice in whether or not to be strong. When you are a mother, you have to be strong everyday, it isn't until you are put in situations that requires strength that you realize who you really are and how proud of yourself you should be.

    Some people won't know how to act or what to say to someone with a terminal disease, they do not want to vent about their problems because in their eyes, their problems are so much smaller than yours but we all want to be treated like a normal human being too. I love listening to my friends problems and being a friend.

    Don't settle. Don't settle with boyfriends, girlfriends, jobs, careers, cars, outfits, shoes, food anything. If you are going to do something, do it all the way and don't just settle just to say you have something. It's ok to be patient.

    Travel as much as you can! Experience different cultures, learn a new language, reread a book and see what new things it teaches you, Don't spend 75 years of your life working 60 hours a week at a job you hate just so you can have "things" instead of a $550 car payment and $1900 rent payment, cut back to just what you need and not what you need to impress people so then you can travel and really experience life!

    Don't be too proud to ask for help. Trust me, i hate doing it too but sometimes you have no other options, We are all just walking eachother home, we are here to help each other. Good people still exist in this world so there's no reason to be prideful and you might just inspire someone else to share what they are going through as well.

    Don't compare yourself to anyone. In the days of social media, all we see are beautiful wedding photos, vacation trips, people buying new houses and cars etc. Be happy for them but know that they are not better than you. Your time will come. Nobody wants to share the crappy parts of their life on social media but you are not the only single person in the world, you might not have everything but appreciate and celebrate what you do have and realize nobody has a perfect life or perfect relationship.

    Appreciate your health. Before I was diagnosed at 29 years old, I just assumed I'd live to be at least 80 so i had plenty of time to do whatever i wanted. You could be one phone call or doctors appointment away from a completely different life. Take care of yourself both physically and mentally, Don't put off doctors appointments.

    Advocate for yourself when it comes to your health. I don't know about you but i have been to my fair share of doctors who come into the room 40 minutes late, ask you three questions, tell you, you have anxiety and then walk out. They work for you. Its not your fault that doctor is busy that day or is having a bad day, you deserve to be heard and understood and be able to ask as many crazy questions as you want and if you think something is wrong, trust your gut and ask for a test and if they wont give you one keep going to a doctor until one finally listens to you. There are good doctors out there that love what they do and there are a few just there for a paycheck. You will be able to tell the difference.

    You are never too old to do things. Take a class, make a new friend, learn a new hobby, go skating for the first time since you were 15, We tend to believe once we hit a certain age we just have to work, make dinner, sleep and repeat but that's not a life. You should never stop learning

Don't waste your life. Don't waste your time worrying what other people think of you, don't worry if you aren't where you wanted to be by your age, don't sit around and wait for life to happen, its already happening, its your job to do whatever you can to try to enjoy it, love yourself, love others and find out your purpose and legacy.