"...But You're too young for Breast Cancer." --My Terminal Journey

                                                                                                                                CHAPTER ONE                                                                  The Beginning of the End         "Why would I miss three calls from a doctor on a Saturday if it wasn't serious, right?" That's all I kept telling myself as I tried to gather the courage to call her back. I've always had social anxiety and trouble calling even close friends I've known my whole life and now I have to somehow keep myself together while a doctor tells me the worst possible news someone can hear. I press the dial-back button and wait as it starts ringing. Every fiber of my being tells me to hang up, but I don't. She answers and I say, " Hi this is Amber Siminich, I missed a few calls from you....." She stops me. "Oh yes, we have been trying to reach you" She tried making small talk, she was driving and answered so I

Chapter 2 The Before      My Childhood was almost an ideal one. I had my mom and dad and two older sisters, My mother always made us great meals and we always had a clean house. Christmases were amazing. I actually never knew we were poor until I was much older. They always made things happen. I was daddy's little girl but so very attached to my mother. She actually had to work at my school in kindergarten and first grade just so I would actually go. She was my comfort. The first trauma I can remember going through was the loss of my father . The event of my father's death when I was just fifteen years old marked the beginning of a journey filled with emotional and inner struggles. The sense of abandonment and loss of guidance created a void that seemed unsurmountable at that tender age. I didn't get much support at the time. My mother, who was always very religious just kept telling me, "He's in a better place." I felt so lost. I was one of the only people in

What I have learned so far ..        I can say I have lived a great deal in the short time I have been on this Earth. I tell my story in hopes that it helps someone else. I hope it helps someone feel a little less alone at the very least, So I am not sorry I refuse to just shut up.......Sorry     I have learned just how much of a privilege it is to grow old. So many people my age, older and younger, complain about turning 35 or 45 or regular aches and pains of growing older. I, for one use to be that person. I remember complaining about turning 25. I look back now and see I am one of the lucky ones to have made it to 33. I have lost countless friends and family and people I went to school with that never got the chance to experience as much life as I have. Being able to one day be 90 years old, makes you one lucky person. Enjoy the time you have now because it goes really fast, don't spend it complaining that you have wrinkles or a few grey hairs.      I've learned